WHATEVER WORDS I SAY

gaycrusader:

it only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby

doES THAT NOT BLOW YOUR MIND LIKE AT LEAST THERE SHOULD BE SOME FLOUR OR SOMETHING

Not really. Pregnant women still need food and water and shit, a-doi.

funfreacksnc:

babyferaligator:

trying to find a needle in a haystack isnt hard at all like wtf all u gotta do is burn the fuckin hay

u are the future 

and the future is destructive

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i can’t believe this, i thought what we had was special. you met my family and made me dinner. now all of a sudden you claim you’re a “waiter” and you’re just “doing your job”

Waiters don’t cook your dinner. That’s a chef’s job.

elemeno-pee:

happybutts:

what’s the html code to be pretty

Maybe it’s </Maybelline>

The problem with this joke is in the slash. It shouldn’t be there. That makes the joke read “Maybe it’s end Maybelline” which as you might know is not what the joke was going for. So I’ll give elemeno-pee a gold star for trying, but nothing else.

effington:

The new Pope deleted all the old Pope’s tweets. Sounds like a joke but it’s not, it’s this fucking world we’re living in.

*snickers*